


Finding the Flow

by IdrisTardis7878



Category: NCIS: Los Angeles
Genre: 6x07 leipei, Can you really blame her?, F/M, and ogling a bit of deeks' muscles, i know i can't, kensi's thinking through some things, post-ep fic, pre-densi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 17:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16877439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IdrisTardis7878/pseuds/IdrisTardis7878
Summary: Set post-Leipei, Kensi watches Deeks skateboard and contemplates the increasingly frustrating state of their "Thing."





	Finding the Flow

**Author's Note:**

> Posted on tumblr on May 25, 2015. Original author's note read:
> 
> A/N: Here’s another ficlet based on one of the pieces that had been lingering around in my unfinished drafts. Set post-Leipei, it got a little more feelsy than I’d anticipated - when I started it, months ago, I thought it was just going to be a fun bit of Kensi ogling Deeks, but then when I picked it back up, there was other stuff happening. But still plenty of ogling. Set exactly halfway between the really emotional hug in Praesidium and the “I want to be bold with you” of Humbug, it seemed that my post-Leipei Kensi had some things on her mind. (Oh, and I fall into the camp that feels they were not doing “the do” till after Humbug, at least right now I do. I go back and forth on that, and I know that lots of folks feel that they were. So I tried not to put too fine a point on that in this fic, and you can interpret whether or not they are as you so choose). Hope you all enjoy!!

The sun had just started to sink closer to the horizon, the change in angle causing its rays to splash and splatter across the landscape with a hint of something truly golden. It wasn’t dark yet - they probably had about another hour before it was really even twilight - but the western sky had started to take on that distinctive glow signaling the end of yet another day in LA.

Kensi was sitting on the edge of the unused pool, her legs dangling below her into empty air, her sneakered heels tapping out an absentminded and inconstant rhythm against the pool’s concrete wall. At first, she’d objected when Deeks had told her that she wouldn’t actually be getting on a skateboard today ( _“You said you’d teach me. How can I learn if I can’t get on a board?”_ ), but Deeks had been infuriatingly firm about it ( _“Kens…you may be double-black-diamond rated…on, uh, snow…but it’s better to start out slower on this. I’ll show you some of the basic elements today, and we’ll get you on one next time. Trust me.”_ ). And she did. Trust him, that is.

And so she sat.

And waited. And watched.

Oh  _ **boy**  _did she watch.

The sky behind her, deepening now to a rich blend of pinky-orange and gold, held little interest at the moment. She was too caught up in the image in front of her…unable to look away, in fact.

Deeks was apparently not exaggerating when he’d talked about the beauty in “finding the flow.” He was currently carving a series of graceful arcs along the sloping walls of the pool. His shirt long since discarded, he maneuvered his way around the concrete expanse in just a pair of aqua board shorts slung low on his hips. The breeze created by his movements ruffled the burnt gold of his hair, and even the kneepads and helmet he’d donned in concession to safety couldn’t detract from the overall picture he made as he handled the board with ease. 

Kensi found herself having an entirely new appreciation for something she’d previously dismissed as an unappealing hobby.  _He really knows what he’s doing out there_ , she mused.  _It’s almost…artful_.

The longer she sat watching, though, the more her mind wandered from the admittedly appealing visual Deeks presented. She wondered, not for the first time, exactly  _what_ it was they were doing lately. Their partnership, their friendship, and their “thing” - God, some days she  _hated_ that word - had been inextricably intertwined practically from the first day they’d met. But in the weeks since she’d returned from Afghanistan and been cleared to return to work, it seemed as though in some ways they’d taken several steps forward - only to take nearly as many backwards in others.

They spent more time together than ever - grabbing dinner after work more often than not, spending an ever-increasing number of nights falling asleep on each other’s couches (or, more accurately, on top of each other), and indulging in each other’s hobbies and interests more and more frequently. Tonight was a perfect example.

Not to mention that the casual touching had stopped being anywhere even remotely in the vicinity of what was normal for partners or friends a long time ago (though it seemed as though even  _that_ had reached a new level after he’d held her while she’d fallen apart in the boatshed a couple of weeks ago - it was as though that embrace had let down another invisible wall between them, at least when it came to physical closeness).

And yet, for all that, Kensi felt less like she knew where they stood than she had the night before Hetty had reassigned her, when Deeks had taken her on that date without actually asking her out - and she thought that  _that_ whole time period had been confusing. She sighed, watching him trace elegant ellipses around the space in front of her, the last rays of sunlight catching the sheen of sweat he’d worked up, making it seem like he almost had a glow about him. She had to admit - to herself, at least - that it was really kind of mesmerizing to watch him.

She shook herself a little, snapping out of her reverie and returning to her earlier train of thought. It seemed that her time away had flipped some sort of topsy-turvy switch between them where she - usually the one to over analyze every slight change between them - was now more than ready to take the next step, and he was the one who was dragging his feet. And she couldn’t quite figure out  _why_ \- he seemed to want to spend time with her just as much as he ever had, and she could practically  _see_ the feelings he wasn’t giving voice to almost every time they locked eyes for more than a few seconds. She didn’t think it was a lack of desire - in any sense of the word - to move forward. But she just didn’t know what was stopping him - though she suspected it was something that had happened during their mission to rescue her - and he wouldn’t say.

As for herself, she knew what she wanted - the time away had made it clear, even though she’d been fairly certain before. She wanted them to be together, actually, really, fully  _together_. But they’d made such a fumbling attempt at it before she’d left. She didn’t want to go through that again - she needed to be sure that  _he_ was sure and that they were on the same page before she said anything about it again.

But things couldn’t go on this way much longer. Remembering the feel of his arms around her that day in the boat shed, and the utter relaxation and comfort she felt whenever they were together, she knew that something was going to have to give. Soon.

“Kens?” Deeks’ voice floated up to her from where he’d come to a stop in front of and below her on the floor of the pool. From his tone, she thought he’d probably said her name several times before she’d heard him.

“Yeah, um, sorry. What?” she asked, forcibly kicking her brain into gear.

He grinned up at her, the particular smile that she suspected he reserved specifically for her. “I  _said_ , if you’re quite through gawking at my awesome display of skills and want to toss me my shirt, we could go get something to eat. Sound good?”

“Oh, yep,” she searched beside her for a brief moment, finding the discarded shirt and lobbing it towards him. She tried not to watch the way his muscles flexed as he reached up to pluck it out of the air. (She failed - rather epically). “Where were you thinking of?”

Deeks removed his helmet before shrugging into the tee shirt and riding the board over to the ladder at the side of the pool. As he climbed up, he called over to her. “Your choice tonight - as long as it’s not bulgogi. I can only do that so many times in the same month.”

She scrambled to her feet as he approached. “Huh, I didn’t hear you complaining the last time we were there, when you ate half your bodyweight in dwaejigogi.”

“Why do you think I need a breather from it now?” he asked, bending to shimmy the kneepads down his legs till he could kick them off. Scooping them up, he tucked them neatly inside the helmet before hanging it over his arm by the chinstrap.

“Fine, fine,” she heaved an exaggerated sigh, as if she was terribly put upon, though really, she wasn’t feeling bulgogi tonight either. “How about the burger place down by the pier? We can bring an extra one home for Monty.”

She looked up at him then, their eyes catching. She hadn’t meant to just say it so casually like that -  _home_ \- but it had just slipped out. Another one of those flickers of  _something_ passed between them before it was gone, but a softness lingered around his eyes as he teased her. “You sure that won’t exacerbate his, uh, little problem you were complaining about this morning?”

Shaking her head, she grinned at him. “I’ll risk it.”

“Whatever you say, Kensalina. Whatever you say.” He began ambling towards where they’d parked her car earlier, and she fell into step with him immediately, their shoulders brushing with nearly every step. She glanced up at him quickly, his profile shadowed by the deepening twilight, before looking back towards the parking lot, a new determination entering her spirit.

_Christmas…I’ll give it till Christmas. If he hasn’t said or done something about it by then, I’ll have to take matters into my own hands…_


End file.
